Video Game Muck-Around: I Got Mah House!

$400,000 dollar flat. Boom. $500,000 stimulus package. Thank you, god-tier Rockstar.

Here it is from the outside. Comes with a ten car garage.

On we go. Let's have a look inside and see what's cracking. It's a pretty fun thing, walking into a new home.

Now this is what I'm talking about. Look at that slick modern art. I put it there specially and it definitely wasn't pre-made and came packaged with the apartment.

Complimentary wine that you can actually drink and swill around in the glass! Well actually, my character looks like a bit of a condescending asshole when he does that. Oh well.

Room with a view! And it's also on TV. What a coincidence. It's also got a telescope you can look out of and see people kicking the shit out of each other. It's more appealing than you'd think. Honest.

Here's where I keep my things. Lots of modern art pieces that you can't possibly hope to understand.

Yes, that is the Vinewood sign to the left in the far distance.

Oh fuck yes. This is more like it.

Guys, I'm worried. *hic* There's some sort of pixie, they've set my wood beams on fire and have created a forcefield so I can't put it out *hic* someone help me.

So I got drunk and passed out. I've just woken up, drank a glass of green shit on the counter that happened to be sitting next to either the most plastic-looking fruit I have ever seen or decorative anal beads.

Oh shit, Inspector Gadget USA edition is on. 

So then I sit down, pan through the channels and my security cameras. And then find the real-time cams of every player. Like, the third person perspective of everyone in my current game session.

Naturally, I call up Lester to put a $10,000 bounty on the highest level player I can find and then watch him whilst relaxing on my real-life sofa with a real-life packet of Hula Hoops cackling like a maniac whilst game chat fills with "FUCK YOU." "CHITTY, WHAT KINDA NAME CHITTY?" "YOU SUCK."

And they get shot to pieces within a minute.

It's the best thing I have ever done and I regret nothing whatsoever. NEXT ROOM.

Aw sweet. Two guitars and some Skateboardy stuff. I also have a computer in this room to order stuff. Ok.

Then I go back upstairs. It's good but I wish I could... Oh snap.

Soulwax FM. Blasting through the house. All day and all night. Smooth funk, all the time. 

I wonder if there's anything else I can interact with?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIIpExVf-5I&list=PLD988FF67001AC590&index=2

Ooh, a bedroom.

I can sleep on it.

Ok, done, next room.

Wait a second, what the hell are these? Oh jeez, virtual Charlie has horrifying taste.

Are these apartments instanced? Do different players get different statues or what? Is there a randomiser which sets different things on each apartment?

Walk-in Wardrobe room. Oh yeah. Easier to access that a locker or cupboard the size of a thimble.

Better change into my jacket. This suit is kinda sucky.

This is the bathroom. It's got a shower which lets me clean the blood off of my character. However, I am not covered in blood so my shower won't work. I did not know that this is how showers operated.

My shower in real-life just needs the faucet turned and the heater switched on.

I do not need to make sacrifices to some sort of unseen blood god in order to bathe.

It's getting dark. Best check out the garage.

Clearly the set of that scene in Batman with Morgan Freeman and Christian Bale. You know the one.

How much do I have left? About $100,000. Enough for one of THESE BAD BOYS.

The Pfister Comet. In delicious Apple Red. A pretty fast sports car. Second best handling. Good speed.

Let's have a close up.

Already insured and had a tracker, so I spent a thousand bucks modifying the windows to look darker.

You'd be surprised by the amount of players who headshot drivers.

Oh my god. Everything is fantastic.