Video Game Review: Bulletstorm: Epic Edition.

Ah, Bulletstorm, you misunderstood creature.


From the outset, it's a generic fps. However, one factor changes it all up and that's the ability to be all stylin' with your murderin'


Basically, from the outset of the game you get a thing which magically lasso's the crazy alien hordes into you. You then press a button to kick them in the face, making them ragdoll. Sometimes you can kick them into cacti, sometimes you can lasso them towards you, but because there is massive block of scaffolding covered in glass in between you and the enemy, the enemy gets skwooshed.

This is not a subtle and nuanced game. At all. This a game in which gameplay and fun try to hide the story under the carpet whilst the relatives are round and give it a firm kick if it lets out any kind of muffled noise from behind its ball gag.

You play as Meathead Mercenary with a bedhead and your goal is to get your Asian friend cured after he got kicked into and had to make himself a robot in order to survive. Like, he needs robo-oil every couple of hours

Ah, swearing thug one and an oriental machination. An ancient story as old as time itself, passed down through countless generations.

But do you know what? It's fine. Kicking enemies, lassoing them, kicking them again and just playing yo-yo with them until I can find something pointy to finally punt them at is a great laugh.
This was never going to win any awards on the writing.

Later on in the game, you come across snipers. These snipers have incredibly large bullets that travel and roughly half a centimetre per second.

I'm not lying. Time suddenly slows down when you shoot a bullet out of the gun and you can use the controls to manoeuvre the bullet.

During this time, your character is flat out invincible and I managed to get a camera angle of my character mindlessly being attacked as the bullet travelled.

So I just kept shooting the gun through tough parts because the enemies couldn't do anything. Hell, I could have shoved an ice-lolly stick under the directional pad and let the bullet travel in a circle. Forever. Then sat back and ate pizza pockets as Asian-Robocop spent hours fighting the baddies.

This game makes no sense.

But it was about £3, so I don't think I paid enough for sense when I got double scoopings of outrageous fun.

Sweet game.