Merry Christmas.

The Sleeping Englishman would like to extend his warmest wishes for this holiday. Whoever you are, wherever you are and whatever you're doing, (Within reason.) I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas. Or a Happy Channakah. Or whatever.

SEASONS GREETINGS.

Completely Unrelated: Casual Magic Night.

So, tonight I went to my first Magic: The Gathering meetup. It usually takes place on Fridays. At least, I think it does. But this one was happening on a Wednesday because super-special Christmas.

I brought my Deck along, 60 cards crammed into a 2012 Chandra Nalaar box which I'd gotten from a friend back in probably 2012 before signing up officially.

Here are my sign up bonuses.

5 30-card packs. 150 cards of all five types. Just plopped on the counter like glamorous casino chips. I immediately shuffled open the glorious 2014 Chandra Nalaar box and started to improve my existing deck which was no more than a starter pack, a mana bulk up, and several I'd traded last week.

I still have yet to spend any money on Magic and eternally feel bad about it. I need to buy something as soon as I'm not broke.

DCI Membership Card. This card stores info of each session and is a requirement if you so much as want to go near a tournament. So that's pretty cool. I've already logged in my info and authenticated it. Still, it's going to live in my wallet for the forseeable future. (I.e. forever.) It's pretty neat that it automatically logs progress.

Also, the webcam contrast is at it's highest so my name, number and authentication scratch number are whited out. Just in case you're wondering what all that empty space is about. Can't be too careful.

I also won some Minstrels and got given a Christmas Card and a big ol' box of Chocolates. Because it's Christmas, I got more swag than I could have foreseen. It's incredible. I was only expecting a promo card.

And since it's every Friday, upstairs in Game On in Winchcombe Street, they continued running the shop WHILST running the duels that were happening on the 1st floor. Like, how awesome is that? Very.

I must buy things when my wallet stops producing comical moths, indicative of how poor I am.

Everyone was pretty chill too, which was nice. It's usually hard being the new guy, but nobody seemed to have a problem with the fact that I often forgot to tap cards, had absolutely no clue between permanent and non-permanent monsters and didn't own a single Planeswalker. They were genuinely lovely people. 

I partook in a mini-tournament thing called The Cube.

Basically, a guy who's clearly a regular and knows his stuff has a massive metal box (The Cube) and in this box are the History of Magic. Tonnes of cards from every expansion. Jeez, they looked incredible. One person complained that his eyes hurt from looking at the sheer number of holofoils.

45 cards are sectioned around the table. In three piles of fifteen, the same number of cards you'd find in a booster pack.

You pick up 15, choose one, and pass on the cards to the person seated beside you, who will then pick one and pass it on. When they have all been exhausted, the next pile will be picked up, you will choose one and then pass the cards in the opposite direction. After you get yourself a nice little deck, you reduce it down.

The rules are simple:

- Leave your own cards off the table.

-Request your land at the end.

- Pick a card from a hand of land. (Dr Seuss eat your heart out.)

-Play an opponent who drew the same one.

These guys were pretty pro. I played against a person who casually put down a monster that negated a win-state, decimated me down to -3, and then killed his monster which, in turn, destroyed me. They knew it.

Inside out.

It was fantastic fun. 

Off to re-arrange my deck now.

Video Game News: YouTube, Stop.

So if you've been following gaming news recently, you may have heard that Let's Players are finding their job suddenly got a whole lot more difficult. 
For those who are new, Let's Players are people who film themselves playing sections of videogames for extended periods of time. 
Generally, (very generally) there is peace between YouTube and Game Developers. Here's how the dialogue goes.

Game Developer: "Aw gee, I sure do like people watching our new and latest video game in these playthroughs done by members of the gaming community. However, what about spoilers and content that doesn't belong to us that's used alongside the game?

YouTube: "Don't worry, we'll make sure that doesn't happen by automatically running Content ID on every video that gets uploaded! That'll check for copyrighted material and anything illicit!"

Game Developer: "k thanks babe."

And so there was peace in the kingdom. Well, until now.

Every day, hundreds of videos are taken down every day due to YouTube... er.... I'm not even sure what they've done this time. Ballsing it up royally is how they usually roll.

"But Charlie," I hear you interrupt. "don't you hate Pewdiepie and wish to eat his skin? Aren't you glad that now he'll suffer because of the increase in flagged Let's Play videos?"

Well, as much as I hate the torturous Swedish girl-man, he is a strange sort of necessity.

Let's Players (Including Pewds) are responsible for more of a game's publicity than we give them credit for. We now live in an age where people will not buy a game until they've seen footage of regular people playing the game. This is where companies get mistaken and they'll always pout their pouty lips and go.

"Don't you want to see our footage? It's prettier and we spent ages filming it and making sure the shots were good. Wouldn't you prefer to see something that's much more nicer? It's shorter too. Only all the good bits."

No, I would rather watch community footage or screenshots than official screenshots and footage. I mean, they pretty much answered the question of "Why?" themselves. I think the answer is straightforward.

I do not own an expensive computer or rig. I own a few games consoles.

I do not own the best TV money can buy. I have an old ALBA with a HDMI output.

I want to see footage and screenshots that relate to ME. I want to see undoctored footage complete with glitches and bugs. Take off all that stupid make up, game developers. You know it'll start to smudge the second I pick up my controller, so why are you setting me up for disappointment?

It's a matter of trust. I trust the gaming community more than official videos and journalists because the community has no reason or incentive to lie about the game or manipulate the playthrough/footage.

Not many people would have heard of Amnesia: Dark Descent is Pewdiepie hadn't played it, unfortunately. 

I'd say the same with Dark Souls, but that's always kind of had its following.

The truth of the matter is that if we take Let's Players away, the general public will buy a game with more of a blindfold. The corporations, paid journalists/critics and gaming developers will dominate. 

And that leads to lazier design and cut corners. Why innovate when you're closer than ever to guarenteeing purchases? It's not as if anyone can go on the internet and find parts of a game that might cause someone not to buy it. No, this the future of only positive reviews and corporate hooks pulling up a rictus grin on the Orwellian-faces of the gaming public.

The only thing that stops this from happening of course, isn't restraint or taste.

It's money.

Ubisoft, Blizzard, Deep Silver and Camcom all stood up and tweeted to Let's Players who had been flagged to contest the flag so their video can be approved. I mean, why wouldn't they?

It's free advertising of their game. And right now it's the only freely available, honest, non-biased advertising that's around. And it's only going to get more popular from here on in. At least, that's my take on it.

                              Read more here @: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-25351123

Video Game News: Stupidity Has Rewards.

We all remember young Peter Clatworthy, an impressionable 19 year old from Nottingham who purchased a picture of an Xbox One from eBay for £450.

I mean, the auction stated that it was a picture. It was all there. In print. For him to read. If he couldn't read, someone should have read it to him. Slowly.

His response was "It was in the category of Video Games, so I thought it was legit."

Evidently. Despite the fact that it was affiliated with video games and therefore listed as such. Did you expect to find it categorised under "Pieces Of Paper Relating To Video Games"?


 So naturally he tried to contact the seller, Paypal and possibly Obama and got a slap on the wrist when he asked for his money back.

Only that never happened, because he received both a full refund through PayPal in addition to the home console which was donated by CEX. Here's a picture of the man and the Assistant Manager of the store.

I just want to say, whilst I'm here, and I have this domain, and whilst there is breath flowing through my body and I still own fingers which can type down whatever idle thought crosses my merry little head.....

What the fuck is wrong with you all?

I mean did anybody seriously buy into that little sob story about the man wanting to purchase the Xbone for his little four year old? Name one Xbox game that is suitable for a four year old or that a four year old might enjoy playing. Go on, one Xbox One launch title for a four year old. Name one.

I'm calling complete bullshit. That's his console, not his son's. 

Look at that picture, he tried to get the edition which came alongside Fifa 14. He's wearing a football top in the EXACT same photo. Come on everyone, use your eyes.  That game would not interest a four year old.

The only games for a young child are under the flag Nintendo. And possibly Sony. We all know that Xbox caters to the "mature" gamer. Although that phrase couldn't be farther from the truth, all things considered.

And why did he get someone pregnant at 14/15? Did he go into Boots or a Drugstore and come out with a picture of a condom instead of the actual goddamn thing? Can we really cite this as a good thing? Really?

The comments I've seen. "Good guy CEX." "Faith in humanity: restored."

Your faith in humanity was restored because a store decided to put a retard on a podium in order to do some good, old fashioned, corporate advertising and raise public relations with the great unwashed?

(I include myself in this, of course, although my last bath was yesterday.)

Whatever dawg.

Video Game Review: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. (Part 1/3)

I've heard every single phrase ever heard thrown at this game. Every single insult or piece of praise ever written has been directed, at some point, towards this game.

Skyrim is the fifteenth installment (Counting phone games and Knights of The Nine/Shivering Isles) of the Elder Scrolls series. But V is a lot catchier than XV, so it's the fifth.

It was released in 2011 and had it's largest expansion slightly over a year ago. The Legendary edition, including all the expansion packs, was released earlier this year in June.

It's an action-adventure RPG by Bethesda Studios which is fronted by Todd Howard who looks like that kid who comes over to your house and will always use your favourite controller instead of the crappy one.

I mean, I don't care if he makes a game that's sold 7 million copies, he just looks like that kind of kid. Or the kid that always went on camping trips with his family and told you stories about how they got attacked by a bear even though you know that's totally bullshit. I honestly think this is the face of one of THOSE kids.

So Skyrim is an action-adventure RPG, a term I will not stop using solely because I believe all the best games ARE action-adventure RPG's. I picked it back up again a couple of hours ago after a break of four months so I thought "Well, I might as well review this one I guess." Gotta do it some time or another.

Whilst the game hasn't aged perfectly in the past few year:

- The American actors trying out horrible strained Scandinavian accents.

- The wall textures that look like brown-grey jell-o.

-The draw distance makes everything over five miles away look as if it's melting.

It's still an incredibly fun game. To the point where it's just instinctual after the bajillionth playthrough.

This is the bit with the spiders. This bit coming up is the bit with the bear, there's the cart with the gold coin purse underneath the wine bottles. This is the cave with the miner over there with the journal next to him, there are enemies over there, there and one down there.

I could play this with my eyes shut I'm so familiar with it.

Since Patch 1.9 it now also has a Legendary mode in which you can raise a skill to 100 points, reset it and gain back all the perk points you spent on the skill tree and then continue from the bottom.

It effectively makes levelling endless.

If you want every perk in the game, you have to reach around Level 250. Don't ask me how I know that.

It'd be nice to see a Prestige system put into the actual game though. Some way to send items/gold between characters or whatnot. That's be pretty cool. One thing I should also mention about Skyrim are the mods which allow you to do everything from changing your character appearance to a Lego Bionicle......

To looking stunning. This one has over 100 graphical enchancement modifications.

Pretty stuff. There are also little things in the game that weren't in there at launch or in previous titles such as horse combat. I don't know why it's the little things that get me hooked, but they always do. 

I've started replaying due to my sadness at the fact that www.thesurvivor2299.com was an elaborate hoax and no Fallout 4 announcement has been made yet. Shame that Bethesda took so long to debunk it.

Oh well. 

I'll be doing some more Skyrim throughout the week so just keep popping back for the occasional update.

Video Game Discussion: Is Gaming Too Expensive?

Aviva's yearly financial report has found that consumers have slightly more disposable income than they had in previous years. In just 2012, the average consumer household had only £27.00 per month of disposable income.
In lieu of this, I was wondering. Is gaming too expensive?

Let's take the two new next-gen- Sorry, current-gen consoles. I really ought to stop saying that now.

Both of them cost upwards of £350/£429 respectively. (PS4/Xbox One.)

Now let's take into consideration the games. The cheapest are £45 but some titles cost £55. Expensive? EA would have you paying £63 as standard per title, bought online or bought as a physical copy.

Let's throw into the mix microtransactions which are in every game that's been released for the new consoles so far. Forza 5 has about 100 cars in the game. Not bad, until you realise that you have to pay for the other 300. Ryse? Microtransactions.

You're not even safe with free game downloads. Games such as Angry Birds Go on the mobile are free to download but contain stupid amounts of premium content that you can buy. (Including a single car for seventy pounds.)

But those are microtransactions and fee-to-play games. Surely they can't phase you.

Well how about games such as Elder Scrolls Online which insist that you have to pay for the console, pay for the game, pay for online and pay a monthly subscription fee and presumably pay for DLC in order to keep up with your friends. Count the number of times I said pay in that sentence.

And what if I told you that it didn't have to be this way?

What if I told you they could fund their servers, pay their employees, pay for art assets and engine costs AND make a firm and tidy profit without charging you for extra online content, subscription fees or online?

You'd call me crazy.

Well what if I told you that they're already doing it?

Forza 5 has immense quanitites of DLC. And costs sixty dollars. And features product placement which includes Top Gear. Powered by an ad-supported AND subscription based game console, which is also sponsored by good ol' Mountain Dew.

Know what that gives Microsoft and Sony? Here's a picture to help you.

Probably even more.

It wouldn't piss me off so much if the gaming industry didn't plead poverty constantly, mentioning how pirating is ruining the industry and games cost tonnes to produce.

If you can look me dead in the eyes and tell me "Charlie, no other possible combination would work. There can be no cheap AAA games with product placement and in-game advertisements and no DLC. There can be no free AAA games with heavy advertising, multiple sponsors and intense DLC. There can be no expensive AAA games with no adverts or product placement at all and limited DLC. There can be no very expensive AAA games with adverts and product placement but multiple packs of free DLC." then I will give you a look that will make you melt into your fucking chair.

Don't give me shit such as "Servers cost tonnes and are incredibly complex. You can't understand them." DOOM had server hosting in the 90's. It's not new.

Stop insisting that servers are magical pieces of alien technology that have just arrived. They've been around long enough for most of them to become old and decommissioned.

The industry lives in financial decadence but is still making money on games, consoles, ads, promos, tie-in apps like Pizza Hut delivery and many other things that I could name but they make me taste something in my mouth that was in my stomach half a second ago.


Yes, gaming IS too expensive. And worse than that, it doesn't have to be.