Video Game Muck-About: GTA Online #3

Okay, so straight into the game and I'm given a thousand dollars. I think this is a daily thing. Not sure.

Anyway, I'm out of the garage and looking to rob the nearest shop.
It's one on the corner and several old ladies are crowding the door. Obviously I ran and jump into them and several of them go flying through the glass door as it shatters all over the place.
I didn't even need to get my gun out, the cashier was already emptying the till into a plastic bag. But I took a shotgun out anyway.

After that, I'm off and away.

Ooh. Pretty countryside.

Anywho, I ditch the car and hide under a bridge until the cops go away. I then spot a large red fiat chugging down the road ridden by some. Mine. I throw the driver out and start driving towards the Grand Senora.

I use the car to rob three more shops up until the desert. That's when the car starts falling to pieces on the road. Literally half the thing fell apart in transit from joint two to joint three. It was terrifying.

In desperation, I accelerate over hill and land on top of the freight train that's casually meandering around the map. As the train goes off, the cops have no idea where I went.

Car is a wreck though.

Isn't she a beaut?

I mean, she obviously isn't but you can just SEE the adventures that me and the car had scratched into the metalwork right there. How could I possibly destroy or abandon this car? No, this car needs a proper send off. It needs to be immortalized and revered. This was the epic jump car. It deserves to be treated with respe

HIT IT WITH A TRAIN.

So then I found the rainbow parachute that's always left on that bridge and jumped off down the ravine.

Must have gone about half a mile or something. Well fun. As long as you remember to press "X"/"A"

But he threw the parachute off! It costs $500 per parachute in this game! And he just takes it off and throws it to the ground like some sort of stupidly large nylon candy wrapper! It's not on. Shouldn't be in a ditch.

Then I walked.

Ugh, this game is too big.

And walked.

UGH, THIS GAME IS TOO BIG.

On the walk back I met my friends Jose and Hernando. Here they are. What nice and happy folk they were.

Jose offered me some of his jam sandwich on the way back. Hernando was messy and got some on my car.

                                                                  Silly Hernando.

Then Jose decided to have a relaxing dip in the river under a bush and Hernando decided to sunbathe.

They wanted to continue doing that for sometime. So I got to a road and continued down the ocean highway.

Until I got to a row of shops. Unfortunately, a player in a helicopter was blasting out RPGs and so nobody was really in the mood to serve me.

Eventually I walked into the gun store and bought a new SMG and got some new gear from the clothing store.

Nope.

That's better. Without the cap, I mean. It's not better with loads of injuries.

Basically, RPG guy came back with a friend. I got hit by a rocket in the face and sprayed with some sort of carbine and respawned in Chumash looking worse than the average boyband comeback tour.

Still, I found my new car!

I'll never let this one leave my side. I'll just park her in my garage as soon as I get the catch to do it.

I got the pacific ocean confused with my garage. Easy mistake.

Here's a selfie of a guy taking a selfie and a woman trying to smoke a rectangular cigarette.

I made some new friends!

Then they all had heart attacks and suddenly bullet holes appeared in them for no reason.

It wasn't me officer. I was just stood here taking selfies the whole time!

The police believed me and arrested someone else. Meanwhile, two teenagers showed up with one tweeting on her phone about how much it sucked that their favourite relaxation spot was covered with corpses.

Some people can be so inconsiderate of others.